I started skateboarding in 2015, the summer I would get outside again. Feeling the warm sun and wind on my face after five years of living inside. I have suffered from depression and anxiety resulting from intense challenges in my life.
When I Was 10 years old I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Chemotherapy and radiation began, it was the high-risk treatment plan which at the time offered the best chances for survival. Without question my parents chose this option, they didn’t want to lose me.
Unfortunately being a high-risk treatment, I developed Pancreatitis, inflammation of the pancreas. The pain became so overwhelming when I eat, that I refused to eat.
Battles
I was fed through Iv for 5 months while waiting for surgery. I missed school, I made friends in the hospital and they didn’t all make it. I felt as a child I’d been to more funerals than the adults around me, It was heartbreaking. I developed survivors guilt.
In school I was always bullied, I was an outcast. In high school, I would spend my lunch hours in the music room learning to play guitar and form a band with the only friends I had.
My battles resulted in p.t.s.d, my anxiety, and depression. I always had a hard time working at a job and getting out in society. It didn’t end there even my close relationships with my family suffered.
Things were getting worse and I was losing my hold on life. For 5 years before 2015, I lived inside, only getting out with my Mom to get food. Or getting together with my family for special occasions.
I fought back desperately to try and change, me, not anything else. I searched within for my authentic self and began to beat a path to that self, running away from the alternative.
Indoor Life
During this time I discovered videos on YouTube, my only connection to the world at the time. I saw videos like, women are awesome, women skateboarding. They were participating in all these extreme sports living life to the fullest, taking it to the edge.
I knew instantly I needed this if I was to begin to heal. I thought skateboarding might get me outside and I could still escape people and fly on by them. Little did I know It would introduce me to people again and bring me community.
First Skater I Met
I met a warm skateboarder we call Old School who said to me “we’ll be your family” reaching out like that kept me coming back to the skate park. My will that was now growing rapidly to be happy and survive kept me going back.
I focused on skateboarding 100% running further and further away from the demons behind me. They are not all gone, but in my mind, I was winning, I had a joy that didn’t come from the need to have more money and things.
Break Through
The road to recovery is long, but it began. And trust me when it begins even though it’s still early you feel like you have made it. Your heart and mind become relieved of weight. It doesn’t matter if there is still more to do.
That first breakthrough is life changing. Maybe I wouldn’t have been here, but I did beat cancer, it was still hard. Let me tell you never take second chances for granted. I did that for too long, burring my past.
Stick At It
Things will and do change if you persevere and cultivate patience. If you need to retreat and close your eyes and escape at times, go into a cocoon it’s ok. Just keep the fight alive however you can. In my lowest times I have a saying “hoping for hope” it works for me. Find what works for you, create what works for you.
I hope I can impart to you that you can overcome what life throws at you. I am an example, I’m still fighting, I have diabetes presently because of chemotherapy in my childhood. They call it mechanical diabetes because of the way it was caused. I will still search high and low for opportunities to heal. Bless you, try skateboarding, try something, take action!
Today I am sponsored by Beefers, my local skate shop, I compete and have met wonderful people in the skate community. And I know you can discover new things in life too. Best regards, Andrea Biggs.